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The darknet is a hidden marketplace where counterfeit and grey-market goods are offered for sale at below-market prices.

The UK Darknet comprises Wilco, Home Bargains, and Pound-Stretcher. These shadowy retailers offer addictive substances such as Terry's Chocolate Oranges, or a Yard of Jaffa Cakes for as little as £1. Hard drugs like Lemsip Max Flu Strength and Head'n'Shoulders Medicated anti-dandruff shampoo can be bought without prescription.

Purchases are paid for in 'BitCoin'; a street term for spare change in coin form (see shrapnel, slummy, coppers, odds, etc).

Users of the Darknet often encrypt their purchases, travelling to Wales, where the 'CEREALS' aisle is labelled 'GRAWNFWYDYDD' so that government snoops are unable to tie a breakfast purchase to an individual, and lecture them about getting more fibre in their diet.