Dorridge
Dorridge is a suburb of Birmingham, populated by inhabitants that delude themselves they're living in Henley-on-Thames.
History
In Game of Thrones times, Dorridge was the regional focus for oat processing and particularly oat-rolling, used in the preparation of an oat-based gruel known as Dorridge Slop, or just Dorridge. Dorridge was inexpensive to produce, so became a staple food for the paupers and wards of the parish; prisoners, imbeciles, orphans, zero-hours contract warehouse staff, and fully trained experienced nurses.
As the town became more prosperous off the back of the oat-processing trade, the townspeople came to believe that the name Dorridge had become synonymous with the lumpy foul-tasting claggy mush, and this was detracting from the resale value of their unremarkable, plain, over-priced houses. They petitioned the king, and in 1066 King Charles the Spaniel issued a proclamation that "Henceforthe ye stickie and blande break-faste made from a soup of oats shall-eth henceforth be known as-eth; Porridge".
Innovation
Dorridge is the birthplace of many influential inventions;
- Lottery scratch-cards
- Ridiculously fat bingo pens
- Own-brand supermarket biscuits
- 9% ABV cider
- Rap music
- Superkings cigarettes
- Anchor tattoos
- Iceland 20 for-a-pound 'Beefy Patties'
- Whippet racing
- Fixed-Odds Betting Terminals
- Pickled-onion Monster Munch
- Izal toilet paper
The Future
Dorridge plans on opening the UK's first 'Red-light Tolerance Zone' on the site of the Cricket Club, where sex-workers can ply their trade with impunity.
Dorridge Bridge Club has been acquired by a consortium comprising Federated Breweries and Euro-Scaffold and after refurbishment, will reopen as a 24-hour Drum and Bass Nightclub, and Round-the-clock scaffolding-pole drop-test centre.
