Lemon curd

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Lemon Curd is a topping that is typically used to ruin cakes, tarts, or scones. Lemon curd is made by force-feeding wasps Gin-and-Tonics with slices of lemon, until they are sick. The wasp sick is scraped-up with a rusty spoon, strained through a tramp's sock to remove lumpy bits, then poured into jars for storage.

Lemon Curd being produced

In late 19th and early 20th century England, home-made lemon curd was traditionally served to unwelcome visitors at afternoon tea as an alternative to poisoning them with arsenic. Lemon curd was usually made as it was needed, as it did not keep as well as jam, on account of it being thrown away by the first person who caught a whiff of the filthy stuff. In more modern times, industrial manufacturing of Lemon Curd became possible due to mechanisation and rising levels of alcohol consumption of teen-age wasps. Commercially manufactured Lemon Curd always contains wasp-body parts and wasp poo as an unavoidable by-product of the methods now used to mechanically recover wasp vomit on an industrial scale.